I was blind

Not sure if I will keep up with this. I like to journal more then blog and this may interfere. It's important to see the starting place, or a small snapshot of it.

I did not grow up in a Christian home, but a moral home. A child of the army and always on the move lead to a somewhat social inept youth. Pleasing others and being accepted was my idol. Alcohol, sex, drugs, parties; these were spared from me, thankfully. I was no Pharisee though, not even close to following the law. My God was that of reason, logic, and science nowhere near The Way, Truth and Life. The christians and christianity I was witnessed to was that of tradition and culture and not Love and Relationships. That put a very sour taste in my mouth.

2001 I moved to Valdosta and the campus life and social life I had dreamed of for so long. "I am here, this is Life" I thought :( I was befriended by amazing men and women who cared for me and LOVED me. I was hanging around them (CO) and heard what they heard (John 14:6) and received what they gave (1 cor 13:13). A few men asked me tough questions, many in which I lied to continue to receive their approval and Love. I was so blind. My second semester of college was consumed with spending time around people who Loved the Lord their God with all their heart mind soul and strength. God used this to challenge my mind and break my heart. Late one night I was unable to sleep and God used this time to have my mind wander about anything and everything. Eternity and my place in it was on my mind. I wondered if I was a Christian, concluded I wasn't. I wondered if I wanted to be, knew I did. I wondered what was holding me back, I could not figure it out. I realized I would not have all the answers but I knew I was a sinner is desperate need of salvation from the way my life was heading. I got out of my bed and cried out to God to forgive me and give me the strength and the ability to trust in Him and follow Him. That was Valentine's Day 2002 and the greatest Love entered my Heart that night.

I continued to seek out what it meant to be a Christian and Disciple of Christ (Ez 36:26) . I took many opportunities to be invested in and invest in others. My faith was created, is sustained, and will be perfected by Him and I am longing for that Day.